Weasles and Ferrets and Stoats, Oh My
by Xeaeros
Summary: Woohoo! Chapter 5's up and I'm not dead yet. Enjoy
1. Going to Redwall

Disclaimer: I don't own Redwall. If I did, there'd be more romance in it. I only own Becky and Jack, Dr. Flackle, Flatt the otter, Jip the squirrel, Frack the badger, all the mice, badgers, squirrels, moles, hedgehogs, and dibbuns of Redwall Abbey.  
  
A/N: Becky and Jack are two kids who are Redwall fanatics. I came up with these names off the top of my head. Any similarity between these names and the names of anyone in real life is completely coincidental. Oh yeah, any thing in ' ' are thoughts. Ok? Ok. Let's get started.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
At School  
  
"Hey Becky, have you red the new Redwall book yet?" Jack asked. "Which one, Jack?" Becky asked back. "Lord Brocktree." Jack replied. "Yeah, that was a good one. Do you know where I can find The Outcast of Redwall?" Becky said. "Oh, that is in the public library in Greencastle.(For those of you who don't know, Greencastle is in Indiana.)" Jack answered. "Wouldn't it be great if Redwall was real. We could go to it every day, fight searats and weasels and ferrets and stoats and foxes. We could meet the warriors and the abbot. It would be great!" Becky said. "Yeah, it would. Too bad it isn't real." Jack said sadly.  
  
At Jack's House  
  
"Jack. Phone for you." came Jack's mother's voice. "Kay mom." Jack said. "Hello." Jack said. "Hey Jack. I found Outcast of Redwall just like you said. Well anyway, I called to tell you what I found out. Meet me at Dr. Flackle's lab tomorrow evening at 7:00. OK? Oh, by the way, do you know where to get Salamandastron and Mariel of Redwall?" Becky asked. "School Library, second shelf up, third and fifth book to the right, sixth shelf to the left." Jack said. 'Hm, I wonder what that was about.' Jack thought. 'Ah well. Let's see, now 5+5+40+20+12+8=90' he thought again.  
  
At Dr. Flackles lab  
  
"Hey Dr. Flackle." Becky said. "Hello Becky. Hello Jack." Dr. Flackle greeted them. "So what do you want this time?" Dr. Flackle asked them. "Can you build us an interdimensionary teleporter that will take us to Redwall Abbey? Will you do it? Please, for us?" Jack pleaded. "Well, it will take some time. But sometime next week it should be ready. Why don't you come by here then. OK?" Dr. Flackle asked them. "OK." Jack and Becky said at the same time.  
  
Next Week at Dr. Flackles Office  
  
"Well?" Becky asked anxiously. "I've done it! A interdimensionary teleporter to Redwall Abbey!" Dr. Flackle exclaimed. "Yes!" Jack and Becky shouted as they high fived each other. "Well what are we waiting for?" Jack asked excitedly. "Yeah! Let's go!" Becky shouted. "Here are the instructions on how to use the teleporter." Dr. Flackle told them. "Ok. Let's go!" Jack said. '' Yahoo. We're going to Redwall. We're going to Redwall. Come on. Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!" Becky shouted. "Ok now. Once you get there, to prove you've been there, you've got to get something as proof that you've been there, or else no one will believe you. Something such as a picture of a hare or a squirrel holding a bow. Here is a camera for the journey. Now off you go. Be gone now. Go. I'll see you later. Now go.  
  
A/N: Well, how'd you like it. I know it was a bit short but it's only the first chapter. I don't know how long it will take me to get chapter 2 out, so just be patient. All the animals will be in the story later. 


	2. Flatt, Jip, and Frack

Disclaimer: I don't own Redwall. I own Becky, Jack, Dr. Flackle, Flatt the otter, Jip the squirrel, Frack the badger, and all the mice, badgers, moles, hedgehogs, squirrels, and dibbuns of Redwall Abbey, and shrew of Mossflower Woods.  
  
A/N: Jack and Becky got to Mossflower Woods, but now they have to get to Redwall Abbey. Oh my so much danger in one forest.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
In Mossflower Woods  
  
''Where are we?" Jack asked. "I don't know, but it isn't Redwall Abbey.'' Becky answered. ''Well, wherever we are, we know we're in a forest. Maybe it's Mossflower Woods." Jack stated. "Yeah, maybe it is. We should get going. You never know what's lurking around in this forest. There could be rats or foxes or weasels or ferrets or stoats or otters." Becky suggested. "Otters are good creatures. They don't go around capturing shrewbabes for oarslaves or things like that.'' Jack explained as they started walking by a river. "Yeah, so stop talking like that about me and my kind. Speaking of kinds, what kind of animals are you. My name is Flatt." a big otter said as he stepped out of the river. "Hello. We're humans. Do you think you can show us the way to Redwall Abbey? I'm Jack and she's Becky." Jack said. "How do I know that you aren't some kind of vermin? Why should I show you to Redwall?" Flatt asked. "Well, if we were rats or something like that, wouldn't we be carrying weapons?" Becky answered. "Good point. Well, I don't know the way to Redwall Abbey, but I know somebody who does. Jip should." Flatt remarked. "Can you take us to this Jip?" Jack asked hopefully. "It won't be easy, since he's always in a different spot, but I think I can find him. I'll do it.'' Flatt told them.  
  
In Jip's Meadow  
  
"Hello, Jip, are you here?" Flatt asked. "Yeah, I'm here. What do you want? Who are they?" a voice asked as a finger came out of the shadows to point a Jack and Becky. "These are Jack and Becky. They need to get to Redwall Abbey. I was wondering if you could show them the way." Flatt said. "Well, I'll do, as long as you come with me." the voice said as a squirrel stepped out of the shadows. "Very well then. I'll shall come with you." "One more thing. I also want Frack to come along. That way, we won't be in any danger." Jip said. "Ok. Let's go get him. He should be at his cave this time of day." Flatt answered.  
  
At Frack's Cave  
  
"Hello Frack." Jip said. "Hello Jip. Hello Flatt. Hello you two. What's your names?" A kindly badger said. "Hi. I'm Becky and he's Jack." Becky said. "Hello Jack. Hello Becky. What brings you to Mossflower Woods?" Frack asked. "We're looking for Redwall Abbey." Jack answered. "Me and Flatt are taking them, but we were wondering if you would come with us for protection. From like adders and stuff. I mean, you know with what's going on, only an otter for protection doesn't make you feel to good." Jip said. "Well of course I'll come with you! You didn't expect me not to, did you?" Frack exclaimed happily. "Ok then. It's settled. We'll start out for Redwall Abbey tomorrow." Flatt said.  
  
At Redwall Abbey  
  
"Where are we Flatt?" Becky asked. "In the ditch near Redwall Abbey. It's won't be long now." Flatt answered. "We're here." Jip shouted. "Oh goody! We're at Redwall! Oh, I can't wait to meet the abbot and the warrior!" Jack shouted. "Hey, we can taste that hotroot soup that we're always hearing about.  
  
A/N: Sorry about the cliffhanger folks, but I couldn't go any further because of writer's block. Gosh I hate writer's block. Well anyway, I'll try to get chapter 3 up A.S.A.P. or sooner. See ya. 


	3. New friends & food

Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own any of the characters from the books. I only own this group of Guosim, otters, the Salamandastron badger lord and hares, and Redwallers and Mossflower residents.  
  
A/N: Ok now. Sorry it's been so long, but with all that I have to do, I havn't got a lot of time to write stories. Ah well. (Announcer Voice) Any way, Jack and Becky have finally reached Redwall. What will they do next? Read on to find out.  
  
''Welcome to the Abbey of Redwall. And who are you two?" a big booming voice rang out. "I'm Jack and this is Becky." Jack said to a big burly otter who he assumed was the Skipper of otters. "I'm Skipper." the otter said. "So now, what takes ya to Redwall Abbey?" he asked. "We're just travelers who want to see different places." Becky answered him. "Well come in, come in. I've heard rumors that there's going to be a feast tonight." Skip said to them. "Oh did you hear that Jack! There's going to be a feast! You will stay Flatt, won't you? And you Jip? And you Frack?" Becky questioned. "Well, since there's going to be a feast tonight, I guess I will." Jip answered. "Yeah, me too." Flatt said. "I guess I will too. After all, it's been a long time since I had a flagon of October Ale." Frack said. "Well then come on in and I'll take you down to the cellars." said Skipper. "Jack, we're not of drinking age yet." Becky said. "So, they don't know that." Jack replied. "Yeah, but my mom told me not to drink until I'm 21. I've never disobeyed my parents before." Becky said. "Fine then. Enjoy your mint tea or whatever it is you choose. I'm getting some October Ale." Jack retorted. "Hang on, Jack. I'm coming with you." Becky sighed.  
  
Two hours later  
  
"Oh boy, it's time for the feast. I hope there's deeper n ever pie and hotroot soup. Oh look, here come the Guosim Shrews." Jack said. "Why hello there. I'm the Log-a-log of the Guosim. What's your names?" the shrew in the lead said. "I'm Jack and she's Becky." Jack said. "Is this yer first time at a Redwall feast?" Log-a-log asked. "Yes, it is." Becky answered. "Well then yer in fer a real treat. Redwall feasts are famous through out the land." Log-a-log said. "Ooh! Here come the moles." Jack squealed. "Hurr hurr, welcome. Oi be Foremole. Who be you'm two?'' the foremost mole said in his quaint mole speech. "I'm Becky and he's Jack." Becky said. "Well you'm two be in fer a real treat, hurr hurr. Moi moles brought a turnip n tater n beetroot deeper n ever poi." Foremole told them. ''Yes!" Jack shouted. "Why hello again." came a familiar voice. "Hello, Skipper." Becky greeted Skipper. "I hope you two are hungry, cos there's going to be a lot of hotroot soup." Skipper said. "Woohoo!" Jack shouted. "Well anyway, there's two people I want you to meet. Say hello to Abbot Joseph and our warrior, Torak." Skipper said. "Hello.'' Jack and Becky said at the same time. "Jinx!" Jack shouted. "Aw man." Becky complained. "Jinx?'' Abbot Joseph said. "Ummm. It's a game we play were we're from." Jack explained, since Becky couldn't talk. "Please explain this game to us.'' Torak said. "Well, its like this. When two people say the exact same thing at the exact same time, the first person to say 'jinx' jinxes the other person. The person who is jinxed can't talk until the person who jinxed the other person says the name of the person who is jinxed five times. Like if I said Becky right now, Becky would only have to wait until I said Becky four more times. Whoops, I said Becky, did'nt I? Now I only have to say Becky..." Jack explained. "Yes!" Becky shouted. "Aw man." Jack complained.  
  
After the feast  
  
"Oh boy, I'm so full.'' Jack said. "Me too. I don't think I could eat another bite.'' Becky agreed.  
  
''Well that's good, because there's nothing left to eat. You ate it all Becky.'' Jack said. "Time for all the Dibbuns to go to bed.'' Abbot Joseph said. ''No! We norra wanna go ta bed.'' all the Dibbuns shouted. ''Well then how about I take you up to the dormitories and play a game with you.'' Becky said. "Yipee.'' the Dibbuns shouted. ''They'll be asleep in no time. Becky's great with children. I've seen her put two rats asleep in two minutes.'' Jack said. ''Well I'm going to bed.'' the Abbot said. ''Me too.'' Everyone else said. ''Good night everyone.'' Jack said. "Hey! Where did everyone go to?'' Becky said as she came down from the dormitory stairs. "To bed. Come on. Let's see if we can finish off these leftovers.'' Jack said. ''Good plan.'' Becky commented as she began shoveling food onto her plate.  
  
A/N: Once again, sorry it took so long to get chapter 3 out. I'll try to get chapter 4 out real quick to make up for it. Good bye. 


	4. In the Forest

Disclaimer: Do I really need to tell you that I don't own Redwall again.  
  
A/N: Well it's their second day at Redwall. What will happen? Read on to find out.  
  
"Huh. Were am I?'' Becky asked as she woke up in an unfamiliar bedroom. "Oh no! Please don't tell me it was a dream!" she shouted. "Nope. It wasn't a dream. At least, it isn't unless I was dreaming when I was dreaming when I bumped into the Father Abbot this morning." Jack said from the doorway. "Thank goodness." Bekcy said. "Come on Becky. Let's go get some breakfast. It's mint tea and porridge." Jack said. "Oh boy!'' Becky said.  
  
At breakfast  
  
"Boy this porridge sure is good.'' Becky said. "Way better than I thought it would be.'' Jack said. "It's the best porridge I've ever tasted.'' Becky remarked. "That might be because it's the only porridge you've tasted. I'm gonna get some more porridge. You coming Beck?" Jack said. "Just a sec. Let me finish my mint tea first." Becky answered. "Hey Becky." "Yeah Jack?" "Isn't it the day that the dibbuns go out berry picking?" "Yeah, it is Jack. Why?" "I was thinking, why don't we go with them? After all, we haven't met the badger mother yet, and it would be a good chance to explore Mossflower Woods." "Hey yeah. We might also meet some woodlanders. Let's go Jack."  
  
Outside the Abbey  
  
"Alright now stay together dibbuns. Toby! Get out of that basket. It's not a sled.'' badger mother Helga said. "Ok now. Is everyone here. Ok then, let's go." she said. "Wait for us!'' Jack and Becky shouted simultaneously. (Big word) "And who would you two be (Aren't you getting tired of that question?)?" Helga asked. "I'm Jack, that's Becky." Jack said as he stood there trying to catch his breath. (They had been running all the way from the Great Hall to outside the abbey.) "Well then, if you're going to join us then you'll be needing baskets. Here, these should do." Helga said as she handed Jack and Becky a basket each. "Off we go then." Helga said as she started off into the forest with all the dibbuns behind her.  
  
Inside the forest  
  
"It's quiet in here. Too quiet." Jack said. "Oh Jack, stop being paranoid for once in your life. It's always quiet in a forest." Becky shouted. "Yeah, unless someone shouts like you just did." came a voice from somewhere in the trees. "Hey, who said that?" Jack asked. "Me." said a squirrel said as he swung down from out of the trees. "What's your name?" Becky asked. "I'm Forest John, but you can call me John. And who would you be?" John asked. "I'm Becky, he's Jack." Becky said. "Yeah, and we're lost. While you were shouting, we stopped. The group went ahead without us." Jack told Becky. "Oh no." Becky complained. "Well you might consider that a good thing, because there's a hare coming this way." John told them. "Oooh, a hare. We're going to meet a hare." Becky exclaimed. "Help! Help! Salamandastron is under attack! Help!" the hare shouted. "Becky, Salamandastron's under attack. We need to tell the Abbot about this.'' Jack said. "Yeah, but how do we get back to Redwall. We're lost. Remember?" Becky answered. "Oh yeah." Jack contemplated. (Another big word) "I could help. I know these woods like the back of my paw. I just need to go get something." John said (Bet you forgot about him, huh?) as he climbed back up into the trees. "Ok let's go." John said as he came back down holding a bow &arrow.  
  
A/N: Oooh! Evil cliffhanger. I've always wanted to do that. Well anyways, I kept my promise. Please review. 


	5. Council of War

Disclaimer: Is it really necessary to tell you that I DON'T OWN REDWALL.  
  
A/N: Last chapter there was finally some excitement in this story. Oh boy, will there be a war? Read on to find out. Oh yeah, and before I forget, check out my sister's fics, her pen name is Bluebird. Check em out ok.  
  
"So Salamandastron is under attack.'' Torak said. "Yep.'' the hare said. "Oh by the way, my name's Josh." the hare said. "Hello Josh." Abbot Joseph said. "Hello Father Abbot." Jack said as he walked into the Great Hall. "Hi Abbot." Becky said as she followed suit. "Hello Jack. Hello Becky." the Abbot said. "Well like I said, Salamandastron's under attack. I'm the only hare that could make it through the army of that evil ferret, Starfang the Merciless. Curse him." Josh said. "Well then, I guess that we'll just have to help Salamandastron out. After all, the Salamandastron inhabitants have always helped out Redwall in times of trouble." Torak said. "All in favor of helping Salamandastron out." Abbot Joseph said. "I'm in.'' Jack said. "Me too." Becky said. "Well now I wouldn't be the protector of the forest if I didn't help out when I'm needed, would I." Forest John said. (Ten bucks everyone forgot about him.) "Well then, it's settled. Everyone will help out." Torak said. "Now, John, could you get some woodlanders to help out?" the Abbot asked. "No problem." John said. "We'll help." Becky said. "Yeah.'' Jack said. "Ok then. Let's get going."  
  
In Mossflower Woods (again)  
  
"So who want's to help." John said. "We do!" Every woodlander shouted. "Well then, let's go back to Redwall Abbey." Becky said.  
  
Back @ Redwall Abbey "We got all the reinforcements outside." Jack said. "Good" Torak said. "Well then, let's get going." Becky said. "Yeah!" Josh said. "Becky, do you know what this mean's." Jack said. "What Jack?" Becky asked. "We're going to Salamandastron, we're going to fight vermin, and we might get to meet the badger lord." Jack answered. "Alright!" Becky said. "Well come on you two." the Abbot said. "Ok, let's go to Salamandastron!'' Becky shouted.  
  
A/N: So how'd ya'll like it. I hope it was ok. Well, see ya. 


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